Tuesday, September 30, 2008

{5 ANTE MERIDIEM}

It's 5 am or maybe something that resembles the time. Where did it go? Where did all the people of our lives go? It’s almost as if they all disappeared completely and I am left here standing lost in my own self-involved world and I see my own Alice through the looking glass reflection on the other side, curiously staring back. What’s in a reflection beside the staring of the same sets of eyes and the same crooked smile? I guess it’s really nothing but someone just staring back at you while you stare back. It’s a big contest where both of the competitors are you. So who wins? Who’s the one that looks away and breaks the contact? It’s a case of what nourishes me, also destroys me.

This was me trying to write it all down. With as much loathing and curiosity to power a huge fucking rocket ship that could take the rest of us away from this god awful place. That place didn’t exist, though. That place was the gates of hell made to look like the huge castle in the sky and the unicorns jumping over the rainbow. The type of shit you see in movies and you see it morph once they get past the pleasantries. The gate bars melt at high burning degrees and the flames just engulphs everything around you. The unicorns turn into some weird looking goblins that are in no mood to chase you through the maze of your life. They want to taste and drain you of the very thing everyone was always after. Your soul. They would do anything in their power to take it from you. Hell even when you were alive, it was quite the kicking and screaming match just to walk down the street and not have some asshole try and tell you your worth.

What is love and what is life? Is it the constant question with the constant answer? The stinging of the wounds after you fall off your bicycle and scrape your knee on the ground. Is it our friends who help us up and our beloved mothers who bandage up the wound and tell us to never give up just because we fell once. Is it the sharing of the moons full capacity or an endless conversation that could span on for lifetimes and even after we die, someone else would take our place because of the cancers of inspiration and motivation. I think maybe that’s just what some of it is. In its most vulnerable and simplistic forms.

This is my homage of friendship. A few words shared for the ones of the road on the adventure of one lifetime. A lifetime that should not be taken for granted. A lifetime that you and I share. Remember also, that same moon we all look at, those same stars and buildings. Other people see them too, others write about them. 

That’s the only way I was ever able to find these words, because whether I knew it or not. 

It was implanted in me by old souls and new.