Wednesday, September 3, 2008

{MEMORIES}

A man walks down a very long hallway. There are many doors inside this hallway. We get the feeling that behind each door is a small vignette of a life that once existed. They are all playing themselves out, over and over again. The same exact way that they all happened. We know that there is nothing that we can do to change any of these moments behind each of these doors. 

We start to walk through each one to see exactly what is going on behind each door and we truly find out what it's like to re-live it all over again. A thought comes to me about what it is like to push the rewind button in this life. Even when I do this I get the feeling that there is no more of a point in doing this than anything else. My rational and logistical perspective also tells me that I am missing out on key component moments while searching in and through all of these rooms. 

We walk on through anyways because the next thought tells me that if it doesn't matter then it doesn't even matter that we walk through them all over again and experience them in their fullest glory. After all this walking and thinking we walk to the end of the hallways. There is a door no different from any of the other ones. It has no markings of a number or a label that would tell me anything of my exact location but we know we are here. 

We open the door and slowly walk in. Up against the wall is a bed with many large blankets that are fluffy. There are many pillows as well. There are two giant long windows up against each side of the room. They have long luminous curtains slowly breathing with the room. The move back and forth in a swaying way. I suddenly get tired and I lay down and fall asleep in this giant bed. I start to dream. I have the same dream all over again. Everything is completely in its place as it was the last time we were here. We go into the same moment. 

We see the curtains and the room and the bed. We lay down and fall asleep. We start a new dream in the same room, only, this time, we are looking out. We look out to the end of the hallway. There is a black cat slowly walking down the hall toward us. It moved faster and fast. It jumps onto us in the bed. I wake from the dream in the same room. I look around and notice everything is in its place. 

Then I wake again from the dream. Same room. Same look around. Same everything. I finally wake from my own dream. In my own room and everything is not in its place. 

Everything is a giant mess and that's fine.