Thursday, December 25, 2008

{ATOMIC SPACE}

Ziggy and I are sitting on the N train downtown, southbound to Canal St from Union Square and we are talking about the pictures that we are planning on taking that afternoon with an octopus and a naked woman and there's this family across from us from Puerto Rico, that is at least what appears to be true to me. There is a mother, a young daughter, a young son, a father and a daughter who is probably about seventeen years old. She keeps staring at me and smiling and for some reason its funny to me so I start to laugh. She continues to stare and smile and I continue to laugh. I see nothing wrong with it, this kind of thing happens on the train between young people, old people, middle-aged people every day. 

She then makes a hand signal like she is very bored being on the train with her family, she makes a gun with her finger and her thumb and shoots herself in the head. This makes me laugh hysterically because of the irony of the bored faces sitting next to her on the train. I can understand how one would feel in this moment. Everything in life can be very funny given the right circumstances and moment. It's all about the delivery of the joke but her father didn't see it this way. He interpreted it in a whole other way that was not meant to be interpreted it. I feel it was a big assumption on his part and you know what they say about assumptions when you assume something you make an ass out of you and me. He started to yell at me about staring at his daughter and I told him I can stare wherever I want and I can laugh wherever I want. This pissed him off and he was about to stand up to fight me over this and I invited him but the mother also had a different understanding of the situation so she stood up and got between us. 

She told him to sit down and to cut it out. I let him know that there was no problem to begin with he was only creating a problem. There is a difference between something that is definitely happening in reality and the thought that something is happening, the difference is that one thing you can definitely see and the other is only a projection of what you are thinking of at the time. So seeing how he had some issue with me staring at her, I started to stare at him instead to even things out and to let him know that what was going on was not what he insinuated. I smiled and remained in a good mood, I wasn't going to let anyone tell me who I am and what my intentions are unless there is a definitive thing that I am choosing to show and/or do. This continued awkwardly for the rest of the 5 minutes moving from 8th street to canal street. 

As I walked off of the train I told him to have a good day and he told me that he always has a good day. I said apparently. I also said that he shouldn't assume things of people that aren't true that is where all problems occur. He said that he would assume whatever he wants so I said well then you, at least, know when you are causing a problem that doesn't exist. The train doors closed and it closed the chapter of that moment between us forever.

*one thing I will mention about myself and this story is this, I am no worse or better than anyone else in this world. But if someone in this world is going to try and attempt to tell me who I am, what I am doing then I am going to let that person know just who I am and what I am doing. What you are thinking is happening in reality and what is true to happening, in reality, are two different things.