Wednesday, January 21, 2009


Just woke up from a dream just now about a small town, a small world, a small frame of mind still clutching and grasping and holding onto the past and in this dream I played a character who destroyed everything in his path. Everyone wanted to stop me, they kept saying don't do this you will die, don't do that you will get hurt, don't do this something will happen, don't do that you are going against everything. I realized one thing as I was on this rampage. I realized that these are all just ideas in our heads and we want to impose them on other people based on fear. 

No one in the dream could prove what they were saying, they were all saying speculative things about something that had nothing to do with me. Along the whole way, it was fear speaking. Fear telling me to hold onto things that can either die now or we will hold onto for dear life our whole lives and die with. There is no certain path for life. There is no pattern to follow. There is no one person in this world to follow. There is the world, there is you, there is a feeling inside of you and you know it's there because either you will be talking against that feeling inside of you or you will be thinking against that thought inside of you or you will be doing an action that goes against that thought or you will be destroying your body against that thing that exists in you or you will go for it and you will let no one, nothing stop you. 

You are the very thing you have always wanted to come home to, every day, every moment. My next part of the dream was the church trying to capture me and make me a reverend, they wanted me to talk about god but only the way that they wanted to display it, a tired old story that needs to be buried. The novel called the bible was very well written and I am sure it probably helps a lot of people cope and understand with things that happen in life but it hasn't hugged a person when they have needed a hug in a restaurant, it hasn't had a conversation with someone who really just wanted to talk to someone that day, it hasn't given it's last money away when someone was starving and you just ate, it hasn't done anything to help humanity but confuse humanity as to the biggest, amazing potential that the human being is capable of. 

When the church finally caught up with me I had smashed one of their cars for chasing me and the reverend of the church came up to me with so much anger and hostility in his eyes and I said to him is it not you before me with anger in his eyes who talks about loving one another, about all these words of god that now are burning away from you. Is it not you who talks more about talking and less walk of the walking. This was a very symbolic moment in the story that really speaks to me, it is about facing your own mirror and setting yourself free and that reverend in the dream was me. 

He started crying and said that I was right, he has not known what love is and at that moment, he started crying he was free. Organized religion was destroyed and everyone came running out of the church throwing their clothes off and showing their true humanity. We are the creators, we create our own lives, we create every situation by calling it, by saying what it is, by feeling it, by seeing it, by experiencing it and it enters into our consciousness and physically turns into an experience. 

This can happen in an instance. The idea of god is dead. The potential of god exists here now inside of you, but you don;t have to take my word for it.

Andrew W. Mathis - "It is bad luck to be superstitious."