Tuesday, November 10, 2009

{THE LONG DRIVE HOME: PART I}

If this were a movie, like a real live movie I would position the camera somewhere in the sky for the first shot. There would be lots of light and colors. Psychedelic styled colors. The kind you see when you are on mushrooms or other such hallucinogens. You would see very small specks of things happening like the way you do when you fly across the united states or anywhere else for that matter except you would slowly fall from the sky and go right towards whatever it is you wanted to focus on. In this case, it would be a car traveling roughly 65-70 mph down the New Jersey Turnpike.

The car would be the color of gold. There would also be other cars driving around it too but those cars wouldn't matter as much. There would be two guys in the car and they would be having a conversation about whatever is on the radio. Maybe they would be talking about politics or the economy. Something rightfully boring as hell. There would be a message in all of this conversation. If you wanted to hear it. There is a message in all forms of conversation. The first guy would ask the second guy about political division and how it affects the individual but the other guy would say that it doesn't have as much to do with the individual as it does with the whole collective. The other guy would say that if there is no individual then there can be no collective because each individual makes up the collective. He would slowly convince the other to see his point of view. He would also talk about how the media uses illustrative stories, metaphors, symbolism, emotion and thought control to get people to believe in a life that is actually not really their life to believe in.

It is a made up life that has no point and purpose for any of the people choosing to believe it. He would also say that people do not even realize they are choosing to live in this way because they have been convinced that it was their idea in the first place. The other man would hear him about but here would be many questions that would need answering but even if he answered those questions it would not bring them any closer to understanding what it is they are talking about. Then a man on the radio would say that one million trillion billion gazillion dollars have been spoon fed to a black hole and no one knows where it disappeared to. The other man would ask how the hell could that much money simply disappear without a trace. The other man would say that it is very easy to lose a very large sum of money if you have connection and control to the printing presses and if you lose all documentation/contracts to the printing of the money. Just like the way you can print any document into the world from your own printer at home. The other man would wonder then if money is real. If it really has any effect on anyone's life or if it is just some agreement that our forefather's and their forefather's and their forefather's agreed to. The other man would ask if maybe it is time to stop following our forefather's because this country was founded on freedom. The other man would ask what is freedom. The man would say that freedom is the ability to live free to one's choices in their life at all costs. The other man would concur but he would also ask how many choices do we really have. The other man would say how many thoughts can you think?

This would baffle the man for a moment because he then realizes at that moment that he has only been thinking very selective thoughts and has not even realized that there were other thoughts to think about other than the other sayings/ramblings/slogans of corporations. This would make a small tear fall from the man's eye. This would also help the man to realize that he has never cried a day in his life since he was a little kid. So he would have to pull over to the side of the road and let it all out for a moment. The other man would not know what to say or do so he would let the man let it all out. He would say something like, I'm sorry to overwhelm you with my thinking but these are just some of the thoughts I have been having lately. Then the man's cellular phone would ring. It would be both of the men's boss asking where the hell are they because they have a meeting in the next half an hour. Then the man would say they are on the side of the New Jersey Turnpike with a flat tired and that he is really sorry but they will be late and that this is what happens when you drive in the back of a construction truck. The boss on the phone would say please get here as fast as you can and would hang up without saying goodbye or see you soon. The two men would look at each other ironically as if there is some irony to this situation but both would realize it's nothing but an odd thought for the moment.

There would be a bunch of housing developments next to them on the side of the road. A sign would read "If you lived here, You would be home by now." This would actually be the title for the movie. A commercial on the radio would start talking about these developments and how they will be available in the coming month. This would really cause some irony at the moment because here are both of these men. Late to a financial meeting for the debt collection company, they work for. Conversations about financial ideas. Both of them barely making it by with enough money to just scrape by the skin of their teeth which is actually slowly wearing off. They would consider this to be a sign that maybe it is time for a change in both of their lives. They would get into the car and continue driving to work.

This would all happen early in the morning. Right as the sun is coming up. The first light of the day. There would be steam rising off the ponds and rivers that they drove by. They would turn the radio off and ride in silence the rest of the way into the city. They would go through the Holland Tunnel and end up on Canal Street. There would be a policeman directing traffic. A vendor selling hot coffee and donuts. A long line of fat people would be impatiently waiting for their turn. They would all look at their watches very obsessively. Chinese people would be almost knocking each other over with buckets of plants, vegetables, handbags and other such items that we will never know about. Other Chinese people would be saying DVD, DVD for sale. African American men would be carrying around very large trash bags full of handbags and would be quickly opening and closing them before the police show up. Crackheads would be screaming about motherfucking pidgeon toes took my doppelganger to outer space as diamond mines, shut up, fuck, fuck, go fuck yourself, you self, you don't know what you are talking about, I told you that's not what I was here for to me. You would not know what the point of what they are saying is and if it actually makes sense to them. Maybe it is the most simplified language they understand. Less is more right. The street would rumble from the R train below. It would smell like a dirty river just like the way it used to be a very long time ago before there was a street here. Everyone would be in a rush in their own way. Some people would be running scared, others would be nervously looking left and right and up and down, looking for someone, anyone who might be looking for them. Others would be walking very slowly but still in a rush with their canes scratching across the sidewalk.

The two men would continue driving. They would start asking each other what are they going to do when they get there. What are they going to say? What are they going to do? One of the men says why don't we let it happen. The other man will say because I want to have the same story as you so we can make sure everything is in its place. The other man would say that they should not plan it out too much because that is how mistakes happen when there are too much planning and ideas put into it. Naturally let it happen he would say. They would both disagree with how things should be accomplished. One would want to know every single last little detail. The other would just want to keep it all open just in case anything changes when they get there. The other man says fine. No story. We will just walk in as if nothing has happened. Like we aren't late. The other man would say ok, perfect. We aren't late. We are right on time.

The man would not believe him because he well knows what time it is now and what time they were supposed to be there. They would get up to the parking garage. Push the button for the ticket and the ticket would not come out. The man would push the button again and nothing. Again and nothing. Finally, the man would get very pissed off at the machine that it would pop out a ticket at the last minute. They would finally find a parking space. 

They would walk into the building. 

They would be greeted by two cups of coffee and a smile from the secretary.